Good evening to you all! It has been a while since I have been here and I have missed it! Being a Kindergarten teacher is all kinds of busy during the dreaded Report Card season...but they are done, they have been sent home and this girl can finally take a deep breath again!
A lot has been on my mind lately and I am pretty excited to share it with you all! We have had a great but busy weekend, like most people during the holidays. For the first time, we had family pictures taken yesterday. I was probably the one who was the MOST excited about this...I'm sure most Mom's can relate to me on this! It was an outdoor shoot in a beautiful park setting and the kiddos did so FANTASTIC! I was worried that some anxiety was going to creep in for them but there were no meltdowns or tears from anyone. WIN!
So about this...I hesitated for a LOOOONNNNGGG time to book this shoot. For the sole reason of how I was going to look in the pictures. Cause here's the thing...I am not in denial about my size or how I look anymore. I know I am a size 16. Yes, 16. I said it out loud to you all. Am I happy about it? No, of course not. Have I accepted that this is where I am in my journey right now? Absolutely. For the past 6 weeks or so, I have really been working on getting my head around accepting and LOVING me for who I am RIGHT NOW. Not when I lose 60 lbs. Not when the scale shows a number I like. RIGHT FREAKING NOW. Because if I don't love myself now, losing the weight won't make any difference at all. I will still be dealing with the same negative self-talk, the shame, guilt and denial that I have been feeling for 5 years. Weight won't change that. BUT...starting to truly love myself at my current size and weight will. And you know what? I have felt a shift. I am starting to dress better. I don't live in yoga pants anymore, I wear a REAL bra (I know you feel me on that one, ladies!), I am enjoying pretty jewellery, loving the yummy lotions I have had in my cabinet for months and just overall showing myself the LOVE and CARE that I DESERVE. I mean, who doesn't want to feel beautiful and amazing every day? We all do! And the most important person who make you feel that way is YOU!
So, my point in all this? Take the damn pictures. I even asked her to take some of just me for my website I am creating along with a friend and I am SO pumped to see the pictures!! I encourage you all to smile your best and most magical smile and light up the world in a way that only you can! Don't put off living just because of a number on the tag in your jeans.
In love and health,
Jen xo
