Smile for the Camera!

Good evening to you all!  It has been a while since I have been here and I have missed it!  Being a Kindergarten teacher is all kinds of busy during the dreaded Report Card season...but they are done, they have been sent home and this girl can finally take a deep breath again! 

A lot has been on my mind lately and I am pretty excited to share it with you all! We have had a great but busy weekend, like most people during the holidays.  For the first time, we had family pictures taken yesterday.  I was probably the one who was the MOST excited about this...I'm sure most Mom's can relate to me on this!  It was an outdoor shoot in a beautiful park setting and the kiddos did so FANTASTIC!  I was worried that some anxiety was going to creep in for them but there were no meltdowns or tears from anyone.  WIN!
So about this...I hesitated for a LOOOONNNNGGG time to book this shoot.  For the sole reason of how I was going to look in the pictures.  Cause here's the thing...I am not in denial about my size or how I look anymore.  I know I am a size 16.  Yes, 16.  I said it out loud to you all.  Am I happy about it?  No, of course not.  Have I accepted that this is where I am in my journey right now? Absolutely.  For the past 6 weeks or so, I have really been working on getting my head around accepting and LOVING me for who I am RIGHT NOW. Not when I lose 60 lbs.  Not when the scale shows a number I like.  RIGHT FREAKING NOW.  Because if I don't love myself now, losing the weight won't make any difference at all.  I will still be dealing with the same negative self-talk, the shame, guilt and denial that I have been feeling for 5 years.  Weight won't change that.  BUT...starting to truly love myself at my current size and weight will.  And you know what? I have felt a shift.  I am starting to dress better. I don't live in yoga pants anymore, I wear a REAL bra (I know you feel me on that one, ladies!), I am enjoying pretty jewellery, loving the yummy lotions I have had in my cabinet for months and just overall showing myself the LOVE and CARE that I DESERVE.   I mean, who doesn't want to feel beautiful and amazing every day?  We all do!  And the most important person who make you feel that way is YOU! 

So, my point in all this? Take the damn pictures. I even asked her to take some of just me for my website I am creating along with a friend and I am SO pumped to see the pictures!!  I encourage you all to smile your best and most magical smile and light up the world in a way that only you can!  Don't put off living just because of a number on the tag in your jeans.  

In love and health,

Jen xo

Pure Gold

I am sitting here thinking of an appropriate title for this post...and I just can't.  I am having conflicting feelings about things today.  My number one emotion for the majority of today has been sadness.  While at school this morning, I learned that the AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED assistant who works along side me in the classroom, is moving to help kiddos in another grade.  Cue the heavy heart.  Deep down, I knew this was coming.  I knew that one day I would be walking into school and I would receive this news.  Today was that day.  I am SO very happy for her because it means good and amazing things for her and her family.  Plus, honestly, she is incredible at her job. Any teacher would is lucky to have her.  So, we both knew that today was our last day together and we held it together well until the end of the day.  Then we both started crying and hugging and acting like we would never see each other again, even though she's only moving down the hall!  ;)

So why am I telling you all this?  Well, for a couple of reasons.  The first is to openly express my gratitude towards this beautiful soul.  I am so thankful that I got to spend the last year side-by-side with her and having her guide me through the crazy journey called Kindergarten!  It's a trip, y'all!  And any newbie needs as much support as they can get!  The second reason is because my first inkling with all of this news and our emotions at the end of the day, was to wave it off, push my feelings down, remembering I will see her next week and for the rest of the year, so it'll all "be ok."  But I didn't.  I sat with my emotions.  Expressed them all.  Yes, I know things will be ok.  That doesn't mean it still doesn't suck.  I sat at my desk, tears flowing, cleaning up to go home.  I knew I needed to FEEL all of this because if I didn't, I knew that sadness would eventually shift to stress, disappointment or even anger.  And THAT I do not want.
So the positivity I saw today was recognizing how grateful I am for her and that I am owning my journey and growth.  I am honouring my emotions and sitting with the crappy ones, even when I don't want to.  And this, my friends, is so vitally important to living a true and authentically happy life.

I love you and will miss you, my friend!  You are pure gold! xo

P.S.  The title came to me at the end. :)

Jen

Welcome!

Hello Beautiful Souls!
Welcome to my blog!  Starting this new adventure has been brewing in my mind for almost three years now.  I have finally come to sit in my (new!) office and just starting typing!

• My name is Jen and I am 41 years young on this beautiful earth!
• I have two kids...Matthew is almost 5 and Katie is 2 1/2.  They are the loves of my life!
• I have been married to my wonderful hubby, Trevor, for seven years and he is my biggest cheerleader in everything I do.  
• I live in Strathmore, Alberta, Canada
• I am juggling many different roles right now...the main ones being mama, wife, Kindergarten teacher, yoga teacher and I am getting certified to be a Health Coach.  Whew.  That seems like a lot when I actually write it out!

I am starting this Balanced Souls blog for a few reasons.  I feel that as I am an "older" mama (as society may deem), I have a unique outlook on parenthood and what we, as moms, go through raising these little humans on a daily basis. 

 I also think that this blog will serve as a tool for me to express how so vitally important it is for women to go after all of their dreams, no matter how big or small, and no matter their age.  I became a yoga teacher at the age of 39 and now I am almost ready to get my Health Coach certification at the age of 41.  I truly believe that these two passions are my calling in this world.  I debated on whether to follow these dreams or just stay in my well paying teaching job on a full-time basis (I live in Canada, we are paid well here) that gives us great health benefits and a good pension.  In the end, dreams won out.  As they should.  For everyone.  I am so much happier now that I am living my true, authentic life!

I have struggled with anxiety and weight issues for as long as I can remember.  I am JUST NOW realizing what it means to LOVE myself 100%, no matter what the size of my jeans are.  I will be sharing A LOT of this on here.  We are always a work in progress, aren't we??

Balanced Souls came about as a result of me learning that we all need to focus on what inside our souls, accepting what is on the outside and being in love with all of it.  When we stop, be still and truly listen to what our souls are whispering to us, our true and authentic self will start to emerge. 

Good health and LOVE to you all!

Jen xo